Deconstructing After Leaving Your Cult or Religion
What is deconstruction?
Deconstructing after religious trauma refers to the process of examining and reevaluating one's beliefs and experiences after experiencing trauma within a religious context. This process may involve questioning previously held beliefs, revisiting past experiences, and exploring alternative perspectives and interpretations.
Some folks may choose to leave their religious community or tradition altogether (which is technically called deconverting), while others may seek to redefine their relationship with their faith or find new spiritual practices that align more closely with their values and needs (hint: deconstruction). The deconstruction process can be challenging and may require support from trusted friends, family, or professionals.
Ultimately, the goal of deconstructing after religious trauma is to find a sense of healing and wholeness, free from the negative effects of past experiences.
1. Fresh out of the community
When you are fresh out of the religious or cult community, your deconstruction can feel pretty emotional. Since you are looking at the beliefs, traditions and rules of your group, it can be painful to start to question those things. It's also common for folks to lose access to their support system and communities during this stage. Make sure to find some space where you can be honest about your experience and gently learn what has been happening to you within your group.
2. You've got some distance but it still hurts
You might find yourself in a season when you are have some perspective and distance from the group you were in, but you still find yourself experiencing painful flashes of memory and reminders that you've left a group that was a part of your identity and meaning in life. This is when you might be able to do a little more of a deep dive into your painful experience. Make sure to get the support of a professional during this season to help guide this process in a healthy way.
3. You have some time and distance and you want to start talking about it
This is when you've got some time and distance from the group or experience and you're ready to connect with others about this experience in more meaningful ways. You might feel more open to discussing the nuances of our experiences and sharing in order to help others understand what you've been through. This is a great time to continue getting professional support, as well as evaluating how you want to participate in groups moving forward.
What do you need next?
Survivors: I want to invite you to take the next big step in your deconstruction by joining A Year of Non-Magical Thinking for survivors. This is a curated education experience where we walk you through how to make sense of coercive control, emotional manipulation, and other religious trauma experiences. Join us today to make your deconstruction process even healthier.
Therapists: Are you helping your clients sift through their painful experiences of leaving their cult or rigid religious trauma? We have a specialized training to help you support your clients is profound and trauma-informed ways while they make their way through their deconstruction process. Join us for A Year of Non-Magical Thinking for Therapists for education and consultation today!
